This is not funny - it's PUNNY!

So, I know everyone is probably so over puns, but I thought I really had to get all my amazing (horrible) puns out into the world (though most of them you've probably already heard most, if not all, of them...).

We went to the beach on Saturday (true story) and I couldn't stand leaving without my sand shoes. So we went back to roll them in the sand...

The next day I plaited my hair and put it in a bun because the wind was blowing it in my face and it was getting annoying. I then realised I had just watched an episode of the Brady Bunch...

So does anyone else find that joke rotten, or am I just orchestrating nonsense?

One of my dad's mates was in a motorcycle accident and had his left arm and leg amputated. We heard from him the other day and he's alright now.

I met a clown at the bank on Friday and held the door open for him. My mum always told me it was a nice jester.

Show me a piano down a mine-shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

Smile!

My pet cow gave up coffee and has now given birth. Now she's de-calf-enated!

My brother was deciding whether he should grow a beard. He rang his friend:

"Hey, John. I mustache you a question."

"You nose I am hair-ing you."

"No, I'll shave it for later."

The pirate alphabet consists of ten letters: Aye aye, aaaaaaaaarrrr and the seven seas.

Santa's alphabet consists of billions of letters.

If there were four men and four cigarettes in a boat but not lighter or match, how can they smoke?

Throw a cigarette overboard and they'll become a cigarette lighter.

Okay, well I really should stop, and let's hope this never becomes a performance - it'll be a play on words...

Why watch a movie... when you can READ?!

I'm that person who would rather read the book than watch the movie. I feel the emotions stronger. I get attached to the characters better. I even (sometimes) end up finding myself (almost) falling in love with the main guy in the story (depending on what genre the book is), but it never happens when I watch a movie. I guess it's probably bad feeling that way towards a fictional character (especially when considering my current circumstances)...

I enjoy gardening. In fact, I prefer plants to animals. Animals annoy me. The constantly need feeding and they don't shut up when they want something. Plants are quiet, shady and without them, we would not be here.

I prefer knitting and making things to buying them. If I see something in the shop, say a cushion or blanket, I immediately start thinking of how I could change it slightly to something I would like even better. Home decorating shops inspire me. I walk in and everywhere I look, I see something that I think I could make, but with a slight twist. I could spend an entire day just window shopping.

I love absolutely everything to do with music. It is so beautiful and every time I listen to it, I could just sink into the song and live there among the harmonies and the different levels of instruments and pitch. I believe music is one of the most powerful sources of life and death. It has potential to bring people up, and to also knock them down. It is intensely astounding.

I prefer being outside to inside. However, I generally hate playing sport. Okay, so I enjoy playing volleyball or soccer, maybe even basketball, with my friends, but I don't enjoy playing a full on game of sport. I prefer sitting outside, enjoying life, enjoying nature.

Down to the point, if you'd never met me before reading this, you would never have guessed I am not even out of high school... Or maybe you would've. Maybe I tend to over exaggerate. Maybe my "weirdness" is really all in my head an I'm more normal than I want to believe (except for my love of school, especially maths).

Maybe I should just stop reading romance novels... Nope - they're way too good...

Back to writing songs...